Tuesday, January 11, 2011

It Didn't Work So Just Give Up?

The start of a new year is a time for many to set resolutions and revisit the previous year and see what worked and what didn't. Sometimes we set resolutions without resolve and without a clear How-To to support them. These are unlikely to work and when they don't work we can easily internalise that as evidence that we "can't do" it "doesn't work" and this then sets as the belief "I can never do it". It may be a belief that you have had evidence of from many such experiences. But here's the thing.

"It didn't work" is really a short version "It didn't work this time, this way."

Think the message through fully. No short versions. Think it through and be specific on what didn't work. The short version cuts the context and removes important information we need to learn from the experience.

Because it didn't work this way, this time, could mean any number of things.

For example:

You didn't prepare adequately.
You need a different way to get to where you want to be.
You gave up too soon.
You didn't have the tools you needed to help you do it.
You didn't have the knowledge you needed to do it.
You didn't follow through on it
You didn't know how.
You didn't have a plan that allowed you to follow through to do it.
You allowed other things to be more important than doing it.
You didn't really want to do it.
Not doing it pays off in some other way.
You didn’t believe yourself when you said you were going to do it.
Your intention and your actions were not aligned.

Whatever the reason - and there may be a combination of these, or others, it isn't simply "It didn't work."

"It didn't work", is the start, not the finish.

Consider something you attempted to do that didn't work.
Revisit that thing that didn't work and review the reasons that may have been present in it not working and get to know what the blocks are that you need to overcome in order to do it.

This can be hard to do alone.
Seek help from someone if you need to.
That's a positive step that you can see as evidence that you are indeed ready to make positive improvement in your life.

And by the way. The start of the year is just like any other time.

Start Now.
Whenever that is.

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