Tuesday, June 13, 2017

Resilience and Self Esteem

Today I was looking at an article online on 5 ways to show authority -- without yelling  Interesting stuff. It came on the heels of a video someone posted on Facebook declaring "Feminism of the world has emasculated men!", along with graphics that were supposed to show how this is happening, but really was just a very clumsy attempt to manipulate men who had some bad experiences with women that they could exploit for their own end.

This got me to thinking about the factors that make for a resilient attitude, and a true sense of self, that does not rely on making others feel weak, just to make us feel strong.

It's quite hard to visually demonstrate the concept of strength. Most often we see picture of really buff guys who work out and have huge muscles. In reality these men are often not strong as they appear. They can do weights but that's not quite the same as the lumberjack of old who took to the woods with a cross-cut saw and could work all day at his task.

Authority, strength... any quality that we might hold in high esteem comes from within and is often a reflection of our beliefs, many of them imprinted while we were children growing up. As it happens our weaknesses are also a reflection of these beliefs too. What we believe about ourselves, what we believe about others and what we  believe is a reasonable way to 'be' in the world. all affects our perceptions and lead our actions (or sometimes inaction).

For many men and women too, feeling strong is not something they think applies to them. Of course there will always be someone stronger, but improving physical strength is possible for anyone who is able-bodied, and even for many who are not. Improving strength and stamina are important elements in our overall wellbeing and affect the way we feel about ourselves and strengthening physically, in turn can improve a feeling of confidence and an appreciation of increased competency in some areas. This all adds to our concept of what we can do. The sum total of these elements adds to our concept of self and builds our own self esteem.

Personal Power
Power is often associated with the ability of someone else to 'do' something to us. They have authority of some kind that we don't have but this is often a perception that doesn't really exist, outside of us making it so. When we understand our boundaries around what we will tolerate, what we will accept and what we will not tolerate, then we get a much more well-defined notion of our own strength and personal power. We begin to 'feel the edges' and as we do, so our resolve strengthens. We can change how we respond to intimidation. We can reflect more usefully on when we may be stepping on the boundaries of others, and gain some new respect for them too.

When we are clear on owning our own power, we can also use that power to be strong when things don't go the way that we might have hoped. In that situation we can rely on the truth that all states - how we feel in a moment - are temporary. The deepest sadness, despair, even elation, have an end. New things happen, circumstances alter and we experience new states.

Sometimes people give away their personal power because they 'have to'. Those who seek to take power from us are bullies and worse. But no matter how intimidating they present, ultimately we hold our own power and it is a decision that we face, if we allow others to take it from us. We are stronger than sometimes we allow ourselves to be.

Preparing Yourself To Build Resilience
Our body needs to train for our muscles to become stronger and to build stamina.  Good food fuels the body and is a joy that junk food and "creamy cheesy" can never bring us. As we stop trying to fill the Void with wishes that things were better and sugar fixes, we may even discover a part of ourselves that we have never met before. Our perceptions change, the world looks better and so too our psychological well-being.

Healthy thinking, improved attention, memory, recall and problem-solving strategies can be learned.

Developing our emotional skills and managing our state help us to be more well-balanced and flexible in our disposition.

Compassion, how willing we are to accept difference and allow forgiveness underpins a healthy happy life and empowers us to let go of those bad feelings that tie us to old problems and prevent us growing in confidence. It opens the door to live with true meaning and purpose and a spirit that nurtures not just others ... but our own Self too.

 Check out my Resilience board on Pinterest

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Lindy Asimus Business Coach - Website 
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Thursday, February 23, 2017

Make Your Business Open For Customers

Make sure your business is visible online
and exciting for customers to visit and feel welcome.

It's a source of astonishment to me that so many business owners have not twigged to the fact that their website not being highly visible online and well laid out, means their business is not highly visible and easy for customers to spend money with them.

That was my comment on a recent Smartcompany article that makes the point that your website is your business. 

Let's start at the beginning. We know that businesses have websites now. We can guess that most business owners and managers probably know that a business needs a website. Some may not really believe it ('We only have local customers so it isn't really something we need'.). Some like the idea of having a jazzy website with lots of Flash animation and sound track that blares when you load the page or maybe even a groovy animated video where someone "walks out" and tells you about the business. Unfortunately the reality of this is often that the fancier the website - the less useful it is. The more fancy the website the less visible it may be. The old saying has never been more true than it is for websites. Looks can be deceiving. 

First Job A Website Should Do For Your Business

Your website is effectively your business online. It represents you just the way a shopfront store welcomes customers to your business. 

So the first thing your website should do ... is be visible to customers who might have a need or a want for what you supply. Just like you decorate your shop windows, advertise where you are and what your specials are, your website should do that too. 

Search engine optimization is the way that you set up how your website is configured to allow the best possible positioning that can be achieved in search. To do this requires understand the current ways that search engines work and working within the guidelines to achieve the best result you can, and be as find-able as possible when someone is looking for a business to buy from. This is especially important for local businesses and there are ways to make this more effective. 

Social Media Should Do This For Your Business. 

While search engine optimization is important to get the best result you can on search, the other way that people find your business now is through comments and recommendations and following on Social Media platforms, like Linkedin, Twitter, Facebook and some other specialty sites. 

While you might think your business is not a fit to be on Facebook, that may not be the case. In any event there may be more appropriate sites to use for your business. You won't know what they are unless you are very much involved in social media in order to understand how this works. 

Social media has other benefits over and above getting your business in front of your target market and it is vital to understand the complexities of this new medium and to devise a strategy that lets you harness the advantages that this will give your business. 

At the most basic level and before anything else is considered, 

  • Ask friends to look for your business online - NOT using your business name. 
  • Implement a plan to get your business visible for the right things. 
  • Set up alerts to monitor what is being said about your business online
Develop A Strategy For Social Marketing
Check Your Website For Roadworthiness
Think Social Media Is No Use For Your Business? Think Again.
How To Get Your Local Business Noticed Online
Purpose Then Strategy - Case Study Starting Your Website
  Quick And Dirty Business Review